Tips and Tricks

Tips and Tricks

You have a toddler so you know, you cannot make a toddler do anything they don't want to do.  The harder you try, the more they resist.  So here are some tips and tricks to make the daily patching routine something they want to participate in.

I Want One Too!!!
This is my absolute #1 piece of advice: Let them think it's their idea.
If you haven't started patching yet, put a patch on yourself and wait for them to ask you what you're wearing and why you're wearing it.  If mom and dad get to wear "super awesome fancy princess sparkle patches" you can bet your buttons they'll want to wear one too!

Exaggerate the Good, Extinguish the Bad
There are two things that every toddler loves: Praise and an interesting reaction. It's important to praise the good and under-react to the bad, especially when you're first starting out.  Saying things like, "I LOVE your patch!  You look soooooooo FANCY!" in your most ridiculously exaggerated and encouraging voice will leave your toddler beaming.  
Conversely, you want to extinguish the bad behaviors like pulling off the patch.  The best way to do this is to under-react.  Be aloof, saying, "oops, you pulled your patch off.  Let's get another one,"  adopting a firmer tone if necessary. Avoid showing your frustrations because the bigger the reaction, the more your toddler will try to recreate it and the worse the behavior will become.    

Choices
Giving kids choices to makes them feel like they're in control.  You can say things like, "Let's go to the park, but we need to put your patch on first... oh, you don't want to wear your patch? It's okay, we don't have to go to the park right now."  Most kids will choose the fun activity, even with the less fun caveat attached.

Finding the Right Brand
Different brands of patches use different adhesives.  Some adhesives may irritate your child's skin.  We use MYI Occlusion Eye Patches because they stick well but don't hurt when they are pulled off at the end of the night and they don't bother my daughter's skin.  The designs on these patches are also really cute.
In the past we tried the Orthopad Eye Patches (which also have really cute designs) but found that they stuck too well.  After a few days of use, my daughter had what looked like road rash from taking these patches off.
Ingredients in the adhesive will react differently in different people. What works well for us may not work well for your child.  If one patch is causing a lot of irritation, try another brand.

Giggly Goo
If you have tried different kinds of patches and your child is still experiencing discomfort, apply some Giggly Goo (Milk of Magnesia) with a Q-tip or your finger to the skin around your child's eye.  Allow it to dry before applying the patch.  This will create a powdery barrier between the patch and your child's skin. 
In our house, we call the Milk of Magnesia "Giggly Goo" and giggle the whole time while I put some on my daughter's face and she puts it on mine.
**As a side note, we only had to use the Giggly Goo when we used the Orthopad brand of patches.  The MYI Occlusion brand doesn't cause her any irritation.

The Timer Trick
Sometimes the glasses or patch will only stay on while there is a bribe in progress.  You don't want to turn into a human candy dispenser or end up rewarding them for taking their patch/glasses off by bribing them to put them back on every time.  Instant gratification rewards bad behavior but a toddler can't comprehend waiting three hours to get a treat.
We use the timer trick to stretch our bribes out.  Start with small increments of time (1-3 minutes) the first few times you use this technique.  Show them that you are setting the kitchen timer and tell them, "when the timer goes off, if your patch and glasses are still on you get a chocolate chip (or whatever the prize may be)."  If you see them start to take their patch/glasses off, remind them of your deal, but don't try to force compliance.
When the timer goes off, if they still have the patch/glasses on, say, "Yay!  The timer went off and you're still wearing you glasses and patch! Now you get a treat!"  If the glasses and patch are not on when the timer sounds, say something like, "Oh rats, the timer went off but you're not wearing your glasses and patch.  Let's reset it and try again."
Reward them every time the timer goes off if they have their glasses/patch on, even if they faultered during the time.
Set the timer for random amounts of time so they cannot predict when it will go off.  Start small when you first start using the trick (1-3 minutes), gradually increasing the time as your toddler learns the concept (30-45 minutes).

Fun Names
We have fun names for everything eye care related.  Some of the time it's just for fun but some of the time it actually serves a purpose.  A piece of advice that I got early on was not to call her patch, "the Patch".  The reason for this is that you want them to forget they're wearing it.  If you take them out in public and a well meaning stranger comments on the patch, there's a good chance their little hand will go right for it.  If they don't associate the word "patch" with the sticker on their eye, hearing it won't be a reminder.  That is why in our house the patch is called the "Patty Cake".  Choose something that is fun for you to say.
You can also attach fun actions your eye care routine like with our "Giggly Goo" (Milk of Magnesia).  We always have to giggle as we put it on.
Patches or glasses can be more fun to wear associate a favorite cartoon character with them as well.  You can call the patch his "Spiderman Web" even if Spiderman is nowhere to be found on the patch itself.  We call my daughter's glasses her "Princess Anna Glasses" even though they're Hello Kitty brand.

Time for Your Patty Cake
Choose the time of day to patch that makes the most sense for your child.  I used to try and get the patch out of the way as early in the day as possible.  Then I realized that my daughter is crabbier in the morning and more likely fall down or throw a tantrum (unrelated to the patch) during that block of time than she is in the afternoon.  If she cries at all while wearing the patch she will take it off and need a new one.  If we wait until after her nap, we're more likely to get through the day with only one patch.  You may need to experiment with different times of day before you settle into a routine.
 

Take them out in public in it... or don't.  It's up to you!
I always think it's kind of interesting to go out in public while my daughter is wearing her glasses and patch.  I am surprised by how many people approach me (often older ladies at the grocery store) and tell me that their kids wore patches when they were young.  It's reassuring to be told that patching really is an effective treatment and it's fun to hear people tell my daughter how much they like her glasses.
I have definitely had people ask "what happened to her eye??" (almost always old men at the grocery store...) but that doesn't bother me either.
If you don't mind a little extra attention (and having to offer a few explanations) go ahead and let your child wear the patch.
If you would rather not draw attention to the patch, it's okay only wear it at home too.  It's up to you!

Books

Dinosaur Farm: A Patch Story that is NOT about the Patch

Brennan is a kid who loves dinosaurs. So you can imagine his surprise when he discovers a real, live dinosaur egg on his grandparents' farm. Will it be a meat eating dinosaur or a plant eating dinosaur? Will it be a dinosaur at all? While things may not always be as they seem, Brennan's adventure leads him to a new friend. BRENNAN'S PATCH AND GLASSES Brennan happens to wear glasses and a patch, but his story is not about his patch. In fact, the patch isn't even mentioned in the story. Tellibooks believe kids should be represented in the books they read. We use a child-first storytelling approach to our books, this means our books are always about the kids, not their differences.

Dinosaur Farm: A Patch Story that is NOT about the Patch

Avery is a kid who loves dinosaurs. So you can imagine her surprise when she discovers a real, live dinosaur egg on her grandparents' farm. Will it be a meat eating dinosaur or a plant eating dinosaur? Will it be a dinosaur at all?While things may not always be as they seem, Avery's adventure leads her to a new friend. AVERY'S EYE PATCH Avery wears glasses and a patch, but her story is not about her patch. In fact, the patch isn't even mentioned in the story. Tellibooks believe kids should be represented in the books they read, without feeling like their differences need to be explained.

Avery Takes the Stage

When Avery's favorite celebrity singer, Blaize, comes to town, she gets a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet her hero. But when things don't go as planned, it will take kindness and understanding to make the show a success! AVERY'S GLASSES AND PATCH Avery wears glasses and a patch, but her story is about her, not her patch! At Tellibooks, we believe children should feel represented in the stories they read. That's why we make our stories about kids, not their differences.

Welcome

Welcome to The Patty Cake Patch.

I created this blog to share my tricks for making Patching with a toddler a little easier -- sometimes even a little fun.

Be sure to check out our Tricks and Tips page for some ways to stay one step ahead of your toddler!  And check out our free Printables for some fun Patching Activities!

My daughter started wearing her patch, or her "Patty Cake", as we call it, in August 2014.  When the doctor told us that she would need to wear a patch for three hours a day, I remember thinking,
"How am I going to get a 2 year old to keep a patch on her face?  I can't even get her to keep her pants on reliably!"  But it can be done.  And it doesn't have to be as hard as you think.

Keeping a positive attitude surrounding the patch in the first few days is crucial.  As you already know, it is impossible to make a toddler do anything.  Allow your toddler to explore the patch at their own pace at first.  This is more important than reaching your target patching time in the first few days.

Here is what we did:  On the first day of patching, we didn't say anything to our daughter about the patch.  My husband and I both put patches on our own eyes and went about business as usual.  It didn't take long for our almost-2-year-old to point to my husband's hot pink patch and ask, "What that?".
"Oh this?" My husband answered, "this is my Patty Cake Patch. Doesn't it look fancy?"
Of course, ever the daddy's girl, her reaction was to say, "I want one too!"

We pretended to debate over whether or not she was a big enough girl to have her own Patty Cake, but eventually decided that she could have one too.  We spent the next ten minutes standing in front of the mirror as a family giggling about our fancy Patty Cakes.

Then we hit our first speed bump.  She decided she was all done wearing it.
A stern, "Don't take it off or you'll go to time out," was my husband's reflex.  And that was when I realized we hadn't gotten on the same page.  My husband thought I was nuts when I told him my low-pressure plan, but agreed to let me try it for the first few days.

For the rest of the first day, we treated the patch like it was a super fun and stylish accessory.  We would ask if she wanted to wear it, compliment her on how fancy she looked with it on, and if she wanted to take it off after a few minutes, no big deal.

We were shocked late in the afternoon when she sought one out, without any prompting, and said, "Patty on?"  She LOVED the attention she was getting.

Bribery and Distraction were the keys to the next few days.  We had to be sneaky about it though and make sure that she felt like she was in control.  We would say things like, "hey, let's go to the park!  You have to put your Patty on if you want to go the the park though. ...... Oh, you don't want to wear your Patty right now?  That's okay.  We can go to the park later then."

Giving her a choice worked well because she felt like she was in control even though we knew she would choose the fun choice + the patch over being bored.

We found that any time she was really engaged she had no problem leaving the patch on.  The result was amazing!  I felt like super mom because I was not only accomplishing the impossible (getting a 2-year-old to comply) but I was also having a lot of fun with my kid! 

Any time I saw her little hand getting ready to tear off her patch, I had to think of a new activity or distraction on the spot.  It was hard to mask the desperation in my voice as I fished for a silly game that would be interesting enough to make her forget about the patch on her eye.  "Hey, let's put our hands on top of our heads and spin in circles!!"  It was an added bonus if I could think of a way to keep her hands away from her eye.  And if the silly game technique didn't work, there was always candy.

Of course, as much as I would like to give three hours each day of undivided attention to keeping a sticker on my kid's face, it just isn't sustainable.  I also didn't want to become a candy dispenser, rewarding her each time she thought about removing her Patty.  Having a two-month-old baby along with other household and parental responsibilities meant I needed to find a way for her to keep the patch on without my constant intervention.  I had to move past this stage of heightened engagement and back into real life.  . 

After day three or four I moved into a long bribe strategy.  (When I say "long", I mean 15-30 minutes long... but when dealing with a toddler, half a Sesame Street is a long time.)  I wasn't sure if it would work or if she could comprehend the promise of a future reward, but it did. I took a kitchen timer and told her that when the timer went off, if her Patty was still on, she could have a chocolate chip (which is exciting stuff for a 2-year-old).  The first few times I set it for really short amounts of time (three minutes or less) until she got the concept.  After that I could set the timer for longer periods of time until eventually we stopped needing the timer and the bribes all together.

Our first week with patching went amazingly well.  A combination of luck and low pressure gave us a really good first start.   There have been speed bumps along the way and days when we gave up after less than ten minutes with the patch, but for the most part patching has been pretty easy for us (mind you, it is a totally different story when it comes to glasses, the bane of my existence...but we'll get to that later).

If you are new to toddler patching or looking for a new approach, I hope our experience will be beneficial to you.

Visit my Tips and Tricks for more about what has worked for us!